Why Language About Ageing Matters

As a woman in her 40s, who works in (and lives and breathes) skin and hormonal health, I am targeted with a lot of ads and content promoting products and services that promise to slow down, reverse or even halt in their tracks the signs of ageing.

Despite my knowledge and my philosophy on ageing well, I am not immune to the language and messages of these ads. I also hear them mirrored back to me in the language my clients use to describe their skin or health concerns. The language isn’t positive, and when we start to internalise it, it can shape how we view ourselves and the process of getting older.

Recently, when I was using AI to help me craft messaging around my services, words like ‘unrecognisable’, ‘failing’, ‘stopped working’ and ‘despair’ kept cropping up. I rejected the suggested hooks as they are not ideas or feelings I want to project about how we are expected to feel about our changing physiology and our outward appearances. The fact that this was the default suggestion of how to talk to my audience felt gross to me.

The idea that the loss of our youth is something we should be seeking to correct or override feeds into the dissatisfaction and negative self-talk so many women have about how they look in perimenopause. At this time of transition, the physical changes we experience can certainly feel un-settling - but these don’t happen in a vacuum. There are also the unique demands of mid-life that are a reality for many women. From being at the height of their career success after 20+ years in the workforce, to caring for children and ageing parents simultaneously, and world events that can feel like we’re living in a dystopian nightmare. No wonder that we’re not sleeping like babies and our skin doesn’t resemble glass.

So what can we do to feel better, and be kinder to ourselves about the ways our bodies are changing? Here are a few ideas:

Accept the process

In our 40s, our metabolism, skin and menstrual cycle won’t look or feel the same as they did in our 20s. That’s ok. We can roll with the changes, and meet our bodies’ new needs. It just needs some attention and focus to work out what they are. We also don’t need to follow the cultural narrative that women become less attractive, or worse, invisible, with age. Supporting our metabolic health, skin and nervous systems can help us look as well as feel our best selves to accompany the wisdom and confidence we develop with our years.

Track and monitor

Log new symptoms, sensations or shifts. Does your mood feel different or more intense during different phases of your cycle? When’s your energy highest and lowest during the day? What foods do you crave or not tolerate as well? How is your skin behaving? Are you sleeping well? Start keeping notes of anything that you notice shifting.

It may be worth getting some blood work done as part of the monitoring process. For example, if energy is low, you’re losing more hair than usual, skin is drier or if periods are heavier or more frequent. If you feel something’s not right, see your GP.

Adapt

This is where expert advice comes into play, and provides personalised rather than generic guidance. Your needs will be unique, and while applying overarching health priniciples for perimenopause to your diet, lifestyle and skincare can be a great starting point, what you won’t get from AI or instagram is a plan that meets your individual biology, genetic pre-dispositions, lifestyle demands and nutrient status.

As a nutrition and skin practitioner, I monitor, evaluate and refine my clients’ plans to make sure they are still giving the best results over time. Whether that’s using different modalities or products in facials or homecare, or switching up supplements or stress management recommendations.

In working with a human with clinical understanding and compassion, rather than taking the lead from a brand trying to sell you a product or an AI answer to your skincare questions, what you’ll get is an approach that recognises you as a whole person - physically and psychologically. In a therapeutic relationship, you’re not judged or measured by your visible signs of ageing, but considered as a multi-dimensional human; and supported as one.

So language that I prefer to use is positive. It’s about connection, balance, adaptation, optimisation and working with your body, not seeing it as something that’s working against you. It’s ok to miss the elasticity, abundance of collagen and razor-sharp contours of youth. But there’s a lot to celebrate with age, too.